Connected, curious, and courageous, we can channel our energy into things that are meaningful and find meaning in things that trigger pain. We can focus our creativity on building a flourishing future.

instead of frittering it away maintaining patterns from the past. Our guiding light is our life purpose. We cannot thrive until we discover it; and we cannot fail to thrive as long as we align ourselves with it every day. Everyone has one, and each person’s is different. Lasting happiness can never come from achieving goals, no matter how audacious, because the glow from every success—whether it is winning Olympic gold or a golden Oscar—fades eventually. However, every problem we have is an opportunity to discover more about our purpose, providing us with a joy that shines brighter with every passing day.

You may think a lot, even worry a lot, about what you “should” do with your life. Should you keep your safe job or leave it to follow your bliss? Should you have a baby now or party hard? Should you make lots of money while you can or travel the world? Should you start a non-profit organization or change the system from inside it? It’s easy to trip out on questions like these, but they are the wrong questions to be asking if you want to thrive.

“Our guiding light is our purpose. We cannot thrive until we discover it.”

Your purpose has nothing to do with what you should do (or not). It is not about being right or wrong. It has nothing to do with what your parents think. It has nothing to do with being rich, respected, or famous. It’s not even about what you want or desire. Instead, your life purpose emanates clearly from your body/mind once it is free from patterns. It is your truth once you have reached peace within. Every time you hear yourself or others say “I should” or “I must,” you are hearing a story that pain has locked in place. Heal the pain and you are free to co-create a new story with the IS-ness of life, which can guide you to thrive for the rest of your days.

Purpose is not a big, hairy, or audacious goal. Instead, it is the way you can be each and every moment of each and every day that brings the most of your potential into the world. It is the glue that connects your brilliance with what your community needs most. Purpose is a conversation between your heart and the heartaches of the world. It is a bridge between your unique gifts and what the world wants most from you. You can’t second guess it with your head or force it to be something it isn’t with your hands. It may not be convenient, moneymaking, or safe. Many of your loved ones may not understand it. Some may resist it. Yet, it does not matter who thinks what about it. It is your truth.

No More “Shoulds”

Are you exhausted from running toward or away from the hopes and desires of your parents? Tired of benchmarking your success with that of your friends? Undecided whether to focus on fame and fortune or making a difference to society? Confused by competing myths spun by the media about what the good life is? Overwhelmed by just how much you could do with your talents? Unsure what following your bliss would even look like? Help is at hand. Or, rather, in your heart.

To find your life purpose, first you have to let go of all the patterns that have gotten in its way for years. Every time we ask ourselves, “What should I be doing right now?” we are letting the Protector dominate our lives. This is a question it (the Protector) likes to ask because the answer might reassure it that it is “right” and so we are safe. Being right, and righteous, is a trap our Tiny Me falls into when it desperately attempts to create certainty in a constantly changing world. It (the Tiny Me) reasons that if it finds the “right” thing, then everyone will love us, respect us, and appreciate us as we deserve. It reckons that if it works out what is “right,” then we won’t experience disappointment and disapproval again.

Our expectations around the kind of life we “should” lead are always driven by lack. The “shoulds” start early in life. Parents naturally want a better life for their kids than they believe they had. Education, money, power, fun, love . . . whatever they thought they lacked, they will urge their offspring to go out and seek. Teachers, friends, and the media then pile on the pressure for us to perform, even if they do it with the best of intentions. Most of their suggestions come from patterns created to defend against their own lack. Being young and impressionable, we pick up a load of these “shoulds” and start to live our life according to their rules. The “shoulds”—designed to defend against the pain of having no job, no money, no worth—become more bricks in the wall we put up as a front. We then use our career choices, relationship choices, life choices as evidence we are a “good” person or have done the “right” thing.

News flash: The world is in constant flux. There are never any absolutely right choices. This is a judgment based on some arbitrary belief system. There are just fitted ones, appropriate ones, which can be discerned by constantly paying attention to what is. “What “should” I be doing with my life?” is a worry of the Protector rather than a creative inquiry from the Connector. This way lies suffering. Instead, sense what fits the effervescent changes that are going on within you and outside of you. Over time, your life purpose will emerge. It is a conversation. If the old stories about what is “right” and “wrong” get in the way, you won’t be able to stay in tune with the chat. We have to stay in a biodynamic, responsive relationship with what is, not what our Tiny Me thinks “should” be.

Source: consciouslifestylemag
“10 Deep Questions to Help You Create a Wildly Fulfilling and Meaningful Life” by:NICK SENECA JANKEL